WHERE DID CHURCH GOING GOT TWISTED!!!?

A church Service

I used to be an alter boy, yes, during those days when to me, church was all about going, singing and munching holy sacraments.Satan or the devil or is it even God opened my eyes later and what i saw is probably what has been putting my dwindling faith to trial till this second.You know, when the man of the cloth is reported to be holding many private meetings exclusively with people's wives without a tete-a-tete with any men group, it really compromises your faith.When the woman you caught red-handed hurling unprintable insults to a woman next door becomes the chair person, heaven becomes the only place to seek solace.When the market snuff seller suddenly stands at the alter issuing instructions to the larger spiritually malnourished lot, taking to the exit door becomes the only option lest Jesus suddenly comes back. Thief style has someone said he vowed to.When, during a church get together, tea is served to women, terribly diluted sweet concoction to kids and fermented honey to old men, then you have to rethink what a church really is.When this lady always sits besides you and stares right into your eyes more than she sees the preacher, then that is just a tempting disaster in waiting.

BROKEN MIRROR

Confusion after bishop elopes with pastor’s fiancée in Nakuru County

Updated Saturday, September 7th 2013 at 13:37 GMT +3

1
inShare

Elders of an evangelical church in Nakuru County are in a dilemma after their bishop left his pregnant wife and eloped with another woman.
The second woman happens to be a fiancée of a junior pastor in the church. Speculations are already swirling about the bishop’s next move — to marry the woman as a second wife.

Our snitch said the junior pastor is depressed and the elders are contemplating withdrawing their membership from the church if the bishop does not return to his matrimonial home and denounce the woman.

“It is shocking, as elders we do not want this matter to go public but if he continues with his wayward ways then we have to make the matter known to the public,” said one of the church elders who did not want to be named because of the sensitivity of the issue.
He said the elders and other pastors affiliated to the church have been holding meetings with the bishop and the woman but he maintains that he is in love with the two women and that his colleague’s betrothed had agreed to his marriage proposal. “It is tricky because the pastor’s fiancée has made it clear to the elders that she wants to be married to the bishop and that her relationship to the pastor has ended,” said the snitch.
The junior pastor was planning to marry the woman — who is also a member of the church — and they have been seeking guidance from the bishop. But things went haywire when the young preacher and the woman went to the bishop for prayers after the woman started experiencing strange dreams.
“The two sought the bishop’s intervention in prayers after the woman started dreaming of men sleeping with her. It was then that the bishop advised the woman to return to his office alone for prayers and the woman started rejecting her man,” said the snitch.
The bishop told the young man that the woman was possessed by demons, which he was ready to cast out   only in privacy.

- THE STANDARD NEWSPAPER-

A REAL MAN.

A real man stands and speaks for
  everybody in the homestead.

A real man's cough is a command

A real man is a tall man, a man who can stretch and reach why no other person can reach at home.

A real man sleeps with arrows by his bedside, just in case  some thieves or night jackals come visiting.

A real man won't let sunrise find him in bed, just like every man in the countryside.

And finally, my old man once told me that a real man is unpredictable, the kind of a man who can wake up, beat his wife, break some glasses, decline to say the reason, go away and come back with a bar of chocolate and some roses.

That is a man.

WHY I'LL MARY FROM MY TRIBE

With the current cases of husbands' vulnerability to their ruthless wives, i think my vision of bringing a foreign content as a wife to my village is crushed, gone and forgoten,

To avoid such eventualities as being locked inside the house because you look sick until Maendeleo Ya Wanaume comes breaking, i have decided to marry this girl from my village, from my tribe.

You see some things are even unimaginable in some of our cultural orientations. As a man, yes a man who went through wherever you go through to deserve the title, it is a gross taboo for my wife to even contemplate provoking me.

That can only be displayed by a girl from my tribe who knows how explosive i can be upon the slightest provoke.

You know very well living with a wife can be equated with sharing a bed with an enemy..this is somebody you share nothing other than that doomed love you pretended you have for her when you thought lust had overcome you.

This can be excercebated if i marry outside my tribe...complicating the chemistry of having a thing in common.

You see that girl across the ridge whose family hut face your cottage. That girl who saw you grow and be what you are. That girl who knew who your father and mother is long before you courted her...now thats the best wife for you...thats the wife who will not dare do to you what others have recently gone through.

The wife who apart from calling you her husband...she also calls you by the name of your origin/ clan.

Thats it for me.

CASE RESTED.